I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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