guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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