Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize