btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
