yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
