She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize