Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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