it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
