He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
