My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
