she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
found the other keg... it's in the tree
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
