i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
