Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
