I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Never joke about your clitoris.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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