For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
