she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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