Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
