i need an iv and a liver transplant
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
