He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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