I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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