The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can you bring me the toilet please
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
