12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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