If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
