the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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