Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
