what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
