She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
