Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
