something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
