You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
