Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize