i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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