I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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