I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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