I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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