He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
