walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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