I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
