We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
