The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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