marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
