I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My bed smells like the plague
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
