Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
