I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
