capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
