You can't motorboat a personality
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need water and some morals
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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