Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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