North Korea, Best Korea!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dicks are not precious.
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