it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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