i can't believe i had my finger in that
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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