Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
