The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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