Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
