I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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