Welp...herpes.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
