And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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