That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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