I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
