I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
