Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize