you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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