I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
