I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
