woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize