highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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